The Christian Ministries building on campus boasts this verse on the side in large letters that I see every time I walk to my dorm. It's hard to ignore. You know it - "Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." We're focusing on the heart tonight.
Well known - yes. However, I'm sure this verse is so often overlooked. People focus more on the simplicity of the words then how to apply it. How can that be possible when I find this verse to be as heavy as I do. With ALL my heart? Mission impossible? Maybe. So much gets in the way of giving my whole heart to the Creator. I want to give Him some space in my heart, yeah. No problem. But wait, I'll just shove him in there with that habit I have, and this guy I'm interested in. There's space enough for everything, right?
The last couple of months haven't been easy for me. Some things I felt sure and secure about kind of fell apart and I realized how absolutely captivated I had been by these situations. I had given so much priority to them that when they were gone, I realized that I didn't exactly know who I was anymore. I had slowly been unknowingly giving away my heart, piece by piece to inessential goals. I was really shocked to find myself so damaged and hurt. The satisfaction I thought I was getting from material relationships suddenly showed it's true colors - so unsatisfying and temporary. I get attached easily. Not just to people - I cling to consistency, comfort, dreams, wants ... the like. I've always been like that. When I get my heart set on something, it's difficult for me to give it up.
The road over the past few months has been long, and it's not been easy. It's coming though. Slowly I'm breaking though the selfish desires I've filled my heart up with to seek my Savior's will. I've seen so clearly how destructive it is to push towards what I want without stopping to seek what God wants. I'm in the here and now. He's seen tomorrow and beyond. I'm glad He doesn't sit up there and guess about how things will turn out. He knows.
